A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet (Prov

"A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet" (Prov. 29:5). "A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin" (Prov. 26:28). "They speak vanity every one with his neighbour: with flattering lips and with a double heart do they speak. The Lord shall cut off all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaketh proud things" (Psm. 12:2,3). These four verses of scripture provide us with more than enough evidence to show us that flattery is a dangerous thing to receive. The Hebrew word for 'flattereth' in our first verse is 'Chalaq,' and it means 'to divide.' There are two more variants of the same word in the next three verses, with the added emphasis on 'smoothness.' But before I deal with this issue of flattery dividing, I would like to first say that there is a difference between flattery and a genuine compliment to someone. A genuine compliment is always singular in motive, and that motive is simply to edify or encourage someone. Flattery on the other hand is a smoothly projected 'compliment' that is intended to puff someone up for the sake of slipping some kind of a dagger in along with the 'seeming' compliment. One needs to be perceptive about who is complimenting them, and why they are doing so. Flattery is always self gain motivated, and it will always cause problems for anyone who openly receives it. But getting back to the 'dividing' element of flattery, we need to realize that flattery when it is received will always divide someone's heart, their mind, and most likely a relationship; particularly one's relationship with the Lord, and often with someone who is a close link to God in someone's life. When David's son Absalom became intent on usurping the kingdom from David, he sought to do so by flattery: "And Absalom rose up early, and stood beside the way of the gate: and it was so, that when any man that had a controversy came to the king for judgment, then Absalom called unto him, and said, Of what city art thou? And he said, Thy servant is of one of the tribes of Israel. And Absalom said unto him, See, thy matters are good and right; but there is no man deputed of the king to hear thee...

Absalom said moreover, Oh that I were made judge in the land, that every man which hath any suit or cause might come unto me, and I would do him justice! And it was so, that when any man came nigh to him to do him obeisance, he put forth his hand, and took him, and kissed him. And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king for judgment: so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel" (II Sam. 15:2-6). The result of Absalom's flattery being received by the people was that much of Israel was divided from David, also David and those with him had to flee from Jerusalem for a time. It also resulted in Absalom being pierced through the heart by Joab, while accidentally being hung in a tree by his hair, with the kingdom being restored to David (II Sam. 15:14-17; II Sam. 18:14,15). It is certain that Absalom's flattering of the people of Israel worked a lot of ruin, including to himself in the end. It all brings another powerful and irrefutable proverb to mind: "Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein: and he that rolleth a stone, it will return upon him" (Prov. 26:27). As one of our four text verses says, a person who is flattering someone is "speaking with a double heart," which is to say a divided heart. That is why flattery serves to divide someone else's heart, because that is all it can do, seeing it is coming from a divided or double heart. And it always comes across with such smoothness, and with what appears to be good intent. The spirit of Christ spoke in prophecy of Judas, in this manner: "The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords" (Psm. 55:21). These were also words of David about someone who betrayed him, most likely his trusted counselor Ahithophel who fell out to Absalom, and ultimately committed suicide (II Sam. 17:23). Another powerful example of flattery in the Bible is when Daniel was the first of three presidents over the kingdom of the Medes, and the other two presidents were envious of him and hated him. They wanted to defame Daniel to the king, but they couldn't find any fault with him; so they conspired to get the king to sign a petition that would condemn Daniel, without the king knowing what he was doing (Daniel 6:1-5).

The king loved Daniel, so the only way these men could accomplish this was by stealth and flattery: "Then these presidents and princes assembled together to the king, and said thus unto him, King Darius, live for ever. All the presidents of the kingdom, the governors, and the princes, the counsellors, and the captains, have consulted together to establish a royal statute, and to make a firm decree, that whosoever shall ask a petition of any God or man for thirty days, save of thee, O king, he shall be cast into the den of lions. Now, O king, establish the decree, and sign the writing, that it be not changed, according to the law of the Medes and Persians, which altereth not. Wherefore king Darius signed the writing and the decree" (Dan. 6:6-9). So they flattered the king and puffed him up about himself, and without realizing it the king signed a decree that would land Daniel in the den of hungry lions; because Daniel was not going to be deterred from his regular prayers to God, even if it cost him his life. The result was that Darius the king was divided from Daniel by this decree, and was deeply grieved about the whole thing when Daniel was cited as breaking this law through his prayer routine (Dan. 6:10-15). The king realized he had done foolishly, and it was only the faith that Daniel had in God that delivered him from the lions miraculously, and erased the grief of Darius (Dan. 6:16-23). And as it was with Absalom, these flatterers who had deceived the king with their smooth words of exaltation, ended up in the pit that they had digged for Daniel, along with their wives and children; all of whom were quickly eaten by the lions (Dan. 6:24). Darius also decreed to all his kingdom to worship the God of Daniel (Dan. 6:25-27). So once again we see the scripture fulfilled that says, "a flattering mouth worketh ruin." It is dangerous indeed to receive the smooth words of someone with a double heart, and equally as dangerous to be the one doing the flattering, if not more so. Also in both of these biblical examples we see that flattery was intended to separate, or divide someone from someone else who was a close link to God in their lives. No surprise there, seeing that flattery is a tool of the devil, the adversary of Christ and of all who love Christ. May God preserve us from smooth words that come to us for like purpose. Amen.